Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Lost in the crowd

Have you ever felt unique but still being lost in a crowd? Having no idea of what to do in life? I have. In fact, my life has been one such story. Let me tell you about it.

To start off, I was born in a small town in Tamil Nadu. The area had huge paddy fields all around, with farmers toiling hard to sow and reap the fertile lands. They called me Rupa, a reference to appearance that is beautiful. The state as you must know is famous for it's temples, movie-stars and food like idlis and dosas. My town was no different, and I thought that perhaps I would also find work in a home here and settle down to a quaint life. But during the early days of my childhood itself, I realized that my life's path wouldn't be decided by me.

Over the years, a lot of my predecessors had left the small town to go to various parts of the country and had achieved success there. And me, along with a group of other similarly talented individuals, were earmarked to follow in their footsteps.

Initially I was filled with mixed emotions about this development. The city was an enigma; I had never been there, and those who did had never returned but settled there. I had also heard that some from my town had even gone abroad, to foreign lands. I imagined what it would be like there. The people, language, culture would be so entirely different. Would they like me and my abilities? Or would I be discarded as one that is not fit for their standards?

But our mentors had planned the transition well, and because of that, my childhood went zipping past almost in a daze. We were always under strict supervision so that we never err and adhere to the norms that would befit someone wanting to make a mark on the bigger platform. The quality of our performance was reviewed  at different times and assessed by a wide variety of measures. From the initial large pool of talented individuals, there were instances when some had to drop out as they were unable to handle the pressure of such stringent training. I proudly wish to state that I survived.

After the powers-that-be were satisfied with the level of our preparation, our contingent was gifted a nice jacket that would help establish our unique identity. We bade goodbye to everyone who had helped shape us as strong, determined individuals, and looked forward to the new life that lay ahead. We carried their hopes and wishes, and we wanted to prove them right. It was decided that we would go to Mumbai, the so-called land of dreams. Would we achieve our dreams there? Only time would tell. For now, we poor folks hardly had any money to afford decent travel, and so sat crammed in a 2nd class railway compartment. The journey was hot and humid with hardly any ventilation, but then on the way we also bonded well as a group and calmed each others' fears and apprehensions.

But trust me, the day I landed in the city, I was scared. It was so big that it seemed very easy to get lost! And then the crowd was mind-boggling! How did so many people manage to live so close to each other? Colourful signboards, neon-lights and horns blaring everywhere, the conditions were vastly different from my monotonous town. Relax, someone in our group spoke up. He recounted his cousin's friend's cousin's first visit to the city and reassured us that it is not as scary as it seems. In any case, proper arrangements had already been made and that very night we made our way to our workplace.

And so here I wait day in an day out, trying to introspect and find out life's meaning. I am not complaining about the facility - it's beautiful, I almost never have to do any running around and there's an AC working all the time.

But now almost a year has passed. You can complain that I've told you so much about my journey but nothing about my work. The truth is, there isn't much to say. Tell me, can there be anything as boring as boredom itself? Sitting in the same place all day long is easy, but it's also very tiring. And when there are thousands of us with similar abilities vying for people's attention, it gets so difficult to stand out. Even if I did, my friends who are in close vicinity might overshadow me. There is not much to differentiate us, and forgive me for saying so, but in a dog-eat-dog world, to be ahead in the rat race, though you need the wisdom of an elephant, it won't serve your purpose to be as slow as a tortoise because you need to be as nimble-footed as a cat. Yes, I'm really bad at analogies, and worse at combining them. It's like adding cornflakes to a slice of bread layered with jam. Ah, just forget it!

Hey, hold on, I think someone finally noticed me!

"So I've taken this Rupa vest for your dad, now which shampoo did you say was good?", a mother asks her son, somewhere in a Big Bazaar store in Vikhroli.

Yes, triumph! The lady picked me, I'm finally on the way to satisfy my life's mission! It's sad to leave my friends behind and I'll miss them, but when life calls, you've got to move on...

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