Constraints

With the temporary glitch in her system's functioning, Rohini stared into the darkness all around. It was engulfing and all-encompassing, filling her with gloom and dismay. Was it really so or was her mind playing games? She reflected, taking some time to introspect on a feeling that was beginning to grow in her for some days now. Was this what she had bargained for all her life?

The monotonous job she was doing was completely unlike what Rohini was - bubbly, vivacious, always looking to unleash her creativity. She was independent, willing to explore, looking to scale new heights and touch the sky. Right through school and college, she loved to travel, see new places and be in the thick of things. That didn’t mean she wasn’t liking being of assistance to people, another intrinsic part of her nature. Her life currently was intertwined with that of hundreds of others – a worker might be getting a promotion today, another would score well in an exam she gave, someone might meet the love of his life, a sudden illness might be forcing another to rush to the doctor... This sense of belonging or oneness with others helped justify her role, gave her a feeling of importance, of being of use, of a pseudo-caring for the others. But they would never know her, never come in touch with her. She was here, far from the crowd, completely detached, not a single person knowing how many sacrifices she had made to play a role in their lives. Could there be any irony greater than that - your wanting to be one with the others and making an impact, but not being able to even feel their presence?

Agreed the pay was good, and she needed to support her family, but couldn't Mohan, her elder brother, ever begin to take up responsibility? Why did he have to live a life of laziness while she slogged in this most boring of exercises. This current conformist and duty-bounded nature of hers was killing her, slowly eating away at her soul. Could she ever get out of this situation? Or was she too trained to go elsewhere? She had to apply the brakes at some point in life and take control. The question was – was that point now?

"Rajiv Chowk. Station. Please mind the gap" boomed the in-train announcement.

The Delhi Metro glided onto the platform, with the same effortless precision that had won her the best driver award two years consecutively. Rohini looked out to the bustling traffic, and made up her mind. She would do some plainspeak at home today. She had finally seen the light at the end of the tunnel...